Uncle swingset unloads on everything.
Podcasts
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Welcome to the Rant-Fu podcast emporium!
Rant-Fu is now a full-frontal auditory experience, where I dish about all the big issues….world politics, penis-size, why the McRib is only a limited-time offer; you know, all the stuff you care about. Take the Rant-Fu experience with you to the dentist, on your daily commute, play it at Christmas and ruin the gathering!! Rock on, sweet child o’ mine.
New to podcasting? Well, it’s simple. Either download the .mp3 file of a show, and listen to it on your .mp3 player of choice (Ipod, Winamp, Media Player, etc.) or listen online by clicking the play button beside the shows below! See? Isn’t that easy?
The RSS Feed for Rant-Fu podcast is here.
If you’re a subscriber of Podcast.com, you can find the cast here:
You can also find Rant-Fu free on Itunes by searching in the Itunes store for (what else?) Rant-Fu.
Podcast #70, Week of 5-13-12
Craig gets on his high horse and tells the world to chill out, we talk about the general nuttiness of people, and bemoan the lack of sexual misconduct by our generation’s teaching professionals.
Podcast #69, Week of 5-7-12
Craig shares his tragic weekend, we rediscover the perversion of Craigslist personals, rant about bicyclists and help a young man figure out the fairer sex.
Podcast #68, Week of 4-22-12
From the best of bathroom graffiti to the flying fluids of zero gravity, this show is a spectacle of stupid topics. But, we do delve into more grounded areas such as music, politics and other stuff that wasn’t our idea.
Podcast #67, Week of 4-15-12
We hit it all this week, from fat Arabs, to fornicating old people, poop, candles, perfection and sitting in the doctor’s office…all this while Craig writhes in pain.
Podcast #66, Week of 4-8-12
This week we tackle more political correctness, some awesome Craigslist personals, guns, how I came to be and the many joys of masturbation.
Podcast #65, Week of 4-1-12
After playing hookey last week, the gang returns to rant about the crappy news, a high-fiber diet, world music, remakes and more. Plus Craig gives a listener advice on how to be super awesome.
Podcast #64, Week of 3-18-12
Gay quiz test-taker Craig passes, or fails, depending on your viewpoint. We also talk about crime, dealing with irrational people, and how to earn money at the toilet.
Podcast #63, Week of 3-11-12
We’re back after a short hiatus, and Craig’s anger cup runneth over….we’re wound up about pharmacies, a good steak, panhandlers and sooo much more. Plus, another round of the terribly exciting Random Topic Generator.
Podcast #62, Week of 2-26-12
Left topic-less, Craig stumbles onto the web’s greatest tool, the random-party-topic-generator, and we let it guide the show to full awesomeness.
Podcast #61, Week of 2-19-12
The show starts with a somber tone, but we quickly dive into the much anticipated First Annual Fu-eys Award Show! It’s a celebration of all the things that made us rant during the first year of the show.
Podcast #60, Week of 2-12-12
This week’s show is all kinds of fun, from the sad missed connections of Craigslist, to the mysterious and funny world of the homophobe, we dedicate this show to Whitney Houston who just wanted to dance with someone – but unfortunately chose to dance with prescription pills.
Podcast #59, Week of 2-5-12
We’re back after illness, to party and rant about taxes, the not-so-super-bowl, Facebook, trying new things, and frozen fetuses. Yeah, just another week.
Podcast #58, Week of 1-22-12
This week we rant about dumb people in the news, hippy parents, talk about death, and end the show with a rousing new list of people Craig can’t hang with.
Podcast #57, Week of 1-15-12
This week Craig and Debra find a lot to bitch about, from the incompetence of fellow man, to winter drivers, traffic controls, exhaust fans, and more. Then we hear about lesbian killers, failboats, and master criminals.
Podcast #56, Week of 1-8-12
This week Craig tells us about jury duty, screwy people in the news, and a couple of super awesome sex-surveys. It’s like an episode of Mash but not set during a war, or in Korea, and about sex and jury duty.
Podcast #55, Week of 1-1-12
We come back from a long vacation on New Year’s Day, full of promise and vigor. Not really, just the same old shit we always have, but you love it. Drunk driving, dating sex rules, pervert mall santas, and our new year’s resolutions.
Podcast #54, Week of 12-11-11
This show starts out with some advice for young Craig and Debra, by old Craig and Debra, we talk about fat people, kids shows and the loss of awe and wonderment, plus we notice that our audience is dead.
Podcast #53, Week of 12-4-11
From the mystery of croutons to the madness of the holidays, this show has it all. Semen volume, poop fetishes, it’s just good clean family fun.
Podcast #52, Week of 11-20-11
This week we talk good sex, but not before wondering about all the stuff were were supposed to learn in school, how to get a good grade on your sciene fair project, and why not to take job offers in Ohio.
Podcast #51, Week of 11-13-11
The rant-fu panel dishes about the hotness of the local bowling alley, figures out that dudes are chicks, and then we talk about how to be an awesome man, as opposed to a douchey boy. Pay attention kids, this is heavy stuff.
Podcast #50, Week of 11-6-11
This week Craig and Debra discuss the countless ways Craig is different from society at large, from traffic etiquette to protesting, food, hippy girls and watching terrible movies for fun. He just doesn’t fit in.
Podcast #49, Week of 10-30-11
It’s a podcast gang-bang, Halloween style! My friend Chris from the Pace Podcast joins us, and Alan from Rambling Geek skypes in and we talk all manners of weird, including getting funky with dead horses, chopping your limbs off, people we can’t hang with and we turn Debra completely off.
Podcast #48, Week of 10-23-11
This week we tackle the strange happenings around Ohio and the world, exotic animals, serial killer mementos, not-so-kiddy porn and spiders that eat your illnesses. Then, we talk about the future and hope that things improve in the men’s bathroom.
Podcast #47, Week of 10-15-11
The show gets off to a white hot start, Craig’s bloodpressure spikes, then we talk about fat people food, more unfairness, the dumbest Apps ever, exciting ways to die, and how to get shot several times by several people.
Podcast #46, Week of 10-9-11
This week’s hate-o-rama ranges from douchenozzles on loud cruisers, to dwarf tossing, racist ice cream, why life isn’t fair, and then Craig gives a long-winded answer about why The Man is to blame for everything.
Podcast #45, Week of 10-1-11
Craig is a rolling ball of tantrum this week, and spews on about customer service, sports, flatulence, drivers, slow people, Sponge Bob and sneezing. Poor Debra.
Podcast #44, Week of 9-24-11
We return with tales of meth, kangaroo attacks, and a long and deep conversation about superpowers. Don’t worry, it all makes sense.
Podcast #43, Week of 9-10-11
We’re back after a couple of weeks of failure, we come back strong with our friend Mike who joins us for talk about aliens, beer names, why these kids today suck a big one, and much more!
Podcast #42, Week of 8-27-11
Not even a crappy signal cable can stop us from sucking this show up all on our own. We tackle vanity plates, menu-complicators, partying during the week, dogs and how they represent Craig’s junk.
Podcast #41, Week of 8-20-11
This show is all over the map, from Chinese restaurant naming conventions, to super-obese folks giving up on life, over-the-top marriage proposals and how to embarrass your children with displays of affection.
Podcast #40, Week of 8-13-11
Our 40th show kicks off with some talk about the county fair, some guys I can’t hang with crescendo, and I unload on slow drivers….then we talk about Debra’s beautiful rack for 20 minutes or something.
Podcast #39, Week of 8-06-11
Yet more guys I can’t hang with, crazy news stories, Craig’s eye-opening confession about having a monster deep inside of him, and that’s just the first half! Oh, it’s a show alright.
Podcast #38, Week of 7-30-11
They can’t all be gems, and this show proves it. We had booze, we had each other, it should have been the best of times but it wasn’t. We discuss monster trucks, the Eskimos, Africa, and death by Xbox.
Podcast #37, Week of 7-23-11
The offensive Craig is still in full bloom, and I can’t leave the inner city alone, and we talk about swingers, heterosexual guys who think gays want them, chicks on chicks, and more!
Podcast #36, Week of 7-16-11
Nothing is safe this week, Debra and I do a full roundhouse kick to all sorts of people you’re not supposed to make fun of or belittle. And you know what? It felt gooood.
Podcast #35, Week of 7-9-11
After a short vacation, we come back to talk about great stuff, from kid murderers, dirty sitcoms, breast milk, people in costumes, and porn.
Podcast #34, Week of 6-25-11
We celebrate Debra’s birthday with all sorts of interesting topics, ranging from great music to shitty TV, weird people with gunts, the horrible, horrible state of New Jersey, and more!
Podcast #33, Week of 6-18-11
This week’s show finds us beseiged by a gaggle of party-goers who drop in to the show, and mayhem ensues. My friend Alan from Rambling-Geek sits in for some fun talk about beastiality, cat statues with penises, and so much more.
Podcast #32, Week of 6-11-11
This week Debra and I quiz each other, answer letters about our political stripes, and revisit Craigslist only to discover the steamroom at your local gym is a gay hookup spot. Who knew? Well, I did but maybe it’s news to you.
Podcast #31, Week of 6-4-11
What can I say? It was a mess from the outset, but we plowed through like champions. From Craig’s butt-update to marriage advice, Dr. Phil impersonations and Debra’s command of Henry the VIII’s penis fireworks.
Podcast #30, Week of 5-28-11
Craig feels better, and gores some sacred cows. We screw up the live show, let our anger flow, and talk about important things that really matter like smelly foreign people and NASCAR.
Podcast #29, Week of 5-21-11
What a week….Craig is burning with a fever, Debra masters the penis, we talk about black guys and umbrellas, toenail fungus, and more.
Podcast #28, Week of 5-15-11
This week we celebrate the lackluster life and music of Bob Marley, discuss some goat-fucking Taliban revenge plots, and invite my buddy Zach into the studio for some dating advice. It’s a big old scoop of fun.
Podcast #27, Week of 5-7-11
Craig’s derriere saga continues, with a happy ending. Get it? Happy ending! Ha! Anyway, we discuss the unavoidable death of some Muslim guy and other things that make Craig very angry and unbalanced.
Podcast #26, Week of 4-30-11
A sobering, melancholy episode of Rant-Fu, Craig and Debra talk about a sensitive subject and delve into the deep, dark recesses of Craig’s malfunctions. That, and some help for guys who pick crappy women.
Podcast #25, Week of 4-23-11
This week Debra and I analyze the many ways in which we try to control stupid, which themselves are very stupid. It’s heady stuff, I tells ya. Also, we answer an interesting letter about feelings….nothing more than feelings…or something like that. It’s all good.
Podcast #24, Week of 4-16-11
Our first “live” show was a roaring success – if success means drunkenness, lots of mistakes, a false start and me showing the world my nipples. Well, on the good side, we get to hear some pretty tunes, more people I can’t hang with, and learn the “raisin/testicle” connection. I blame it all on the Catholic/Jewish Syndicate.
Podcast #23, Week of 4-9-11
The fury is unleashed, I’m pissed and you will feel my pain. We rant this week about people who are stupid, and confirm that I just might be one of them. Oops.
Podcast #22, Week of 4-2-11
We take a trip down memory lane, remembering all the cool shit from our youth, along with Realdoll franchise opportunities, gumballs, murder, the shocking unrest in the Middle East, and more!
Podcast #21, Week of 3-27-11
Emporer Craig returns to guide a young man on life’s many decisions, and then I unleash my newly minted United Nations of Geniuses on fixing the world’s problems, from shower controls to the war on drugs, malware, customer service, traffic controls, Krispy Kreme as health food, I’m on fire! I fucking rule. For realz.
Podcast #20, Week of 3-20-11
The show is off the rails, first Craig lays down how the world will operate when you elect him emperor of everything, then we share the shocking story of the Craigslist fishing scheme perpetrated by yours truly, letters from the listeners, and more!!
The shocking results of the Craigslist ruse are here: This is the first ad, the normal “looking for love” girl.
Here is the ad for the more tempting “girl looking for a man and woman to party with.
And, here is the gallery of the email responses for our swinging hottie. CAUTION! These are graphic and contain nudity, creepy people, and lots of sausage.
Podcast #19, Week of 3-12-11
Well, the world is going to hell, but we’re in first-class with a warm towel and an appletini. This week we discuss tolerant beheadings, the destruction of Japan by monsters, drive through soakings, the pajama generation, what a genius Debra is, and we revisit Craigslist for proof that women with non-functioning penises have a chance at love too.
Podcast #18, Week of 3-05-11
This week, Craig gets accused of racism and must defend himself through the narrow slits in his white hood, we tell you how to find a good bitch and keep her in line, we list the 25 worst warning labels of all time, and suggest ways not to answer the “Have you been drinking?” question…to ensure incarceration.
Podcast #17, Week of 2-27-11
I might just be overcompensating for my lacking manhood, but I have an idea that will restructure society for the betterment of all. See for yourself, as mrs. swingset and I hash out the issues that matter, including penis trauma, angry people, stupid traffic and more.
Podcast #16, Week of 2-20-11
The seething hatred comes oozing out this week, as Craig lets a winter’s full of bad vibes go. We talk about weird shoes and throwing them, gang rape, cod-pieces, ghetto style, what’s good for you and what’s not, etc. Then Debra goes Realdoll shopping, and she plays my game with people she can’t hang with. It’s a bonanza of topics, and we stumble through all of them!
Podcast #15, Week of 2-13-11
Love, sweet love, is in the air….and mrs. swingset and I devote this week’s Valentine’s Day episode of Rant-Fu to romance. First, we answer a couple letters from the lovelorn, then we delve into the finer points of passion, by taking some Cosmo magazine online quizzes to once and for all find out if mrs. swingset is a bad girl. Tune in and find out!
Podcast #14, Week of 2-6-11
This week has our heroes battling the insurance companies, stupid people who argue on the internet *cough*, and more. I have a new list of people I can’t hang with, we share our Bucket or Fuck-it lists, and decide how to be hip, hipper or hippest.
Podcast #13, Week of 1-30-11
Everything is wrong, as we discover this week and the mrs. and I talk about the breakdown of society, starting with lingerie football, and ending in a profanity-laced meltdown aimed at Itunes users with some hate for bad security, Olive pits and politicians, the tali-Ban, inkjet printers, lawn mowers and more! Plus, some crazy Craigslist and what to do with a sexless marriage, also known as living with your sister. Whew!
Podcast #12, Week of 1-23-11
This week we’re joined by my friend Chris from the Pace Podcast, and the three of us field a question about penis size, some crime news, we talk movies and do some top-five lists, and round out the show with more crazy Craigslist sex.
Podcast #11, Week of 1-16-11
This week the mrs. and I continue my reminiscing about my glory days at Burger Chef, other first jobs, rant a little about coupons and disgusting people, and tell some stories of the weird.
Podcast #10, Week of 1-9-11
For this week’s cast, Mrs. swing and I talk about throw pillows, bad-girl sex, crazy people doing bad things, fast-food hunks, and that’s just the first 2 minutes! It’s a bonanza of interesting topics.
Podcast #9, Week of 1-1-11
It’s our New Year’s show, the mrs. & I rant about band music, shooting people in the face (not really a rant), I bring a new list of people I can’t hang out with, 70’s sitcom drudgery, and why New York City sucks.
Podcast #8, Week of 12-25-10
Mrs. swingset and I take time out of our jetsetting and spend some Yuletime to talk about restaurant bad times, hyper-sensitive minorities, abstinence fail, drinking (and puking) Jagermeister, and Christmas cheer with the swingsets.
Podcast #7, Week of 12-19-10
Mrs. swingset joins me again (she’s pretty much my sidekick at this point), and we rant about Native Americans, Christmas bell-ringers, homeless people and pretty much show me to be heartless and offensive. Then, we dive into first kisses, oral sex, bad movie cliches, and damn I don’t know it’s just all over the place. It’s fun though, really.
Podcast #6, Week of 12-12-10
Mrs. swingset joins me for some ranting, advice to some hapless losers at the game of love, we read 80’s hairband lyrics as poetry, delve into the Craiglist personals unfinished from last week, and my friends James & Chris from The Pace Motorcycle Podcast join me for some guy talk.
Podcast #5, Week of 12-5-10
Mrs. swingset and Subnet from rambling-geek.com join me this week as we talk about circumcized seasalt french fries, more people I can’t hang with, how to solve the Jewish/Palestinian conflict (no, really), and another round of Craiglist personals, with some kinky!
Podcast #4, Week of 11-28-10
I go solo this week for some ranting about who I can’t hang with, holiday shopping, dogs, some help for the lovelorn, a trip down memory lane and lots of cussing. Get it here (To download, right-click and choose “Save link as,” or click the play button to listen online)
Podcast #3, Week of 11-21-10
Mrs. swingset and my buddy Zach join me for some advice to the desperate, we read the best of Craiglist personals, get my rant-britches in a knot over hipster snobs, and then things go really downhill. (To download, right-click and choose “Save link as,” or click the play button to listen online)
The second part of the podcast, bonus-material if you will, my friend Alan from Rambling-Geek joins us via Skype to test the waters on some collaboration while we streamed live on his awesome radio show. Unfortunately, a total lack of planning and a lot of beer make this nothing more than an hour-long session of filthy talk, so yes I loved it. Probably not a good one to crank up while the kids are awake.
(To download, right-click and choose “Save link as,” or click the play button to listen online)
Rant-Fu, week of 11-21-2010, Part II
Podcast #2, Week of 11-14-10
Swingset is joined in studio by the lovely mrs. swingset for a spirited round of “The Newlywed Game”, plus answers from the mailbag, how to make a great marriage, shave your parts and offend people by being you.
(To download, right-click and choose “Save link as,” or click the play button to listen online)
First Podcast!!! Week of 11-7-10
The flagship podcast, where we meet our host swingset and learn about teenage sluts, checking yourself out, we answer letters from the mailbag about blowjobs, talk about pee fetishes & simulated dog sex, and that’s just the mild stuff. It’s not that bad, really. Honest.
(To download, right-click and choose “Save link as,” or click the play button to listen online)
about 1 year ago
Rock on!!! Been wondering when you’d do some more podcasts. The government is always right.
about 1 year ago
I may be a Virgin butt my Ass isn’t.
about 1 year ago
Damn.
Damn.
about 1 year ago
You had me rolling with your initial comments on the letter regarding bj’s! I think I woke the whole neighborhood up!
about 1 year ago
Just an FYI…
Lord loves a workin’ man;
don’t trust Whitey;
see a doctor and get rid of it.
about 1 year ago
Caucasian Please!
about 1 year ago
Lol, one of my coworkers who I had been working with for over a year, been fishing and shooting with him. Was still paranoid as hell to leave me alone with his Senior in highschool daughter.
I was a senior in college at the time and either engaged or married.
about 1 year ago
Guys I can’t hang out with: Guys who pronounce the word “meme” mehm, it’s Meeeem, rhymes with beam.
FUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
about 1 year ago
Ok, how the hell can you not like David Spade in Tommy Boy? David Spade without Chris Farley, you’re right, is trash, but those two together were incredible.
Favorite Line: (Tommy is settling into his office, pretending to read the company’s catalog)
David: “It’s called reading, you know, top to bottom, left to right. You group words together to form a sentence. Take Tylenol for any headaches, Midol for any cramps.”
about 1 year ago
@ the last two comments: Spam spam spam, spam spamity spam spamity spam!